Slapped by Captain Obvious

The last 4 months have been a real struggle. I've struggled with pretty much everything and everyone including myself. I can't stay on our budget, a job I thought I had for the year was given to someone else, I can't find a job, I can't keep the house clean, I struggle with Terina, I stuggle with Kasala, I've said and done things that I wish I had never done. The last 4 months have just really sucked and has been a strain not only on me but on my family.

Yesterday Terina and I started getting ready for Church 2 hours before it started. I was determined to make it and make it on time. We made it... but not on time. Who knew that being a couple minutes late would land you in the 3rd row at church. It was our ward confrence. I got released from playing the piano in primary and called to be a teacher. Terina did a great job sitting the whole time in Sacrament and I was able to listen to most of the talks and stuff. The ward choir sang and I had to do everything I could to not cry. I burried my face in the back of Terina's head while I listened to the beautiful song.

Ere you left your room this morning. Did you think to pray? In the name of Christ, our Savior, Did you sure for loving favor As a sheild today.
When your heart was filled with anger, Did you think to pray? Did you plead for grace, my brother, That yo might forgive another. Who has crossed your way?
When sore trials came upon you, Did you think to pray? When your sould was full of sorrow, ABalm of Gilead did you borrow. At the gates of day?
Oh how praying rest the weary. Prayer will change your night to day. So when life gets dark and dreary. Don't forget to pray."

I felt as if the obvious was in front of me the whole time but because I was so consumed with myself that it never crossed my mind to pray. I don't say my personal prayers or read my scriptures. I guess I figured that Terina was doing all the work for me. I pray with her every night, she just got her own Book of Mormon (with her name on it) and we read a couple versus together so I figured it was good enough. But as I sat in sacrament meeting with my face in the back of Terina head I did all I could to not break down into one of those really kind of ugly cries. My heart felt something that it hasn't in a long time.. a sense of reliefe, a sense of comfort and assurance. It was as if Heavenly Father was telling me if I pray for help He will be there to help me.

Things go worse when I went to primary. The kids were practicing their songs for the primary program in a couple of months. The theme for the year is something to do with families, I'm not really sure on the exact theme. As they were singing Families Can Be Together Forever, I felt my eyes welling up again. I started to cry. The song made me feel so happy that I'll be with my family forever. Even though our family is not perfect and we have a flaws, we can be an eternal family if we just keep working on it.

At our primary training last night Sister Hemmingway said something that I need to always remember. The more we put Heavenly Father first in our lives the more we'll be able to feel wrapped in the arms of His love.