Counting my Blessings

Have you ever felt like everything and everyone in the universe was against you? Like there was no hope for tomorrow and you have no idea how you're going to make it through the next month, week, day or hour? That's how I've felt for the past month.

Once Terina left Hawaii I got a double ear infection that was so painful. My face was swollen, I couldn't hear anything, I was in and out of the doctors and ER and I had to take a whole week off of work. While I was down, Kasala sprained his ankle to the point where he could barely walk. He ended up at the doctors as well and they also sent him to the hospital for x-rays. We were pretty beaten up for a while. When Terina came home and broke her arm she ended up at the ER too. So within 5 days all 3 of us had been in and out of the Kahuku Medical Center Emergency Room.

Eventually ears could hear, ankles could once again walk and broken bones were put into casts. Everything looked like it was looking up. We went a few weeks "stress free" so to speak. No major injuries, problems or concerns. This last week however has been super hard and stressful. I did not manage our money properly and spent more than I should have when Mom was here. Needless to say when I thought we had "x" amount of money for food we really had zero dollars. I was determined to just make things work and I knew they would. I had planned enough dinner meals to keep us alive until the next pay day and was not concerned at all.

I still felt as if everything was going to be just fine. Kasala has always said to just have faith and trust that everything will work out. I just need to trust him and everything will be fine. To be honest....I always get scared when he says that. But I'm learning that Kasala is right... I trust him...with everything.

Anyways, Saturday morning Terina woke up super early. We made a nice breakfast and spent sometime together. Our plan was to do laundry, pack a few things and get rid of a lot of things. That however didn't happen. I found that I was bleeding pretty bad. It scared the crap out of me to say that least and I called my doctor as fast as I could. They sent me to Kapiolani Womens and Childrens Hospital in town where the three of us hung out in the triage room for 4 hours. The drew blood, did an ultrasound, did an exam and could not figure out why I was bleeding. They did however discover that I had very VERY low fluids around the baby. Super low.... I had 2 different doctors come in and do an ultrasound because the first didn't think he did it right....or maybe just wanted to make sure he was seeing what he saw... I don't know. Anyways, good thing we went in. They admitted me and moved us to a private room.

By this time we had been at the hospital for almost 6 hours. Terina was tired and hungry, and Kasala and I were also pretty tired. I had IV's put in and was given some food, which I fed to Terina because she was so hungry. I was hooked back up to a heartbeat monitor in the room and left there to have fluids pumped into my body.

Kasala and Terina eventually left to go back home. They had a long drive a head of them and it was late. They were both tired and hungry but made it home in one piece. I stayed at the hospital alone for the night and they were both back early to check on me and pick me up. Sunday morning my fluid levels looked pretty good so I was sent right home but told to check in with my OB first thing Monday, which I did. When we got home I felt so bad for Kasala. I sent him to bed to get some rest and Terina insisted that we go to church. Even though I felt like complete crap I knew for some reason that she was right and we started getting ready for church.

It was a great Sunday. Relief Society was just that...a relief. The lesson was on managing our time and focusing on what is truly important...just what I needed to hear. I told a friend of mine what had happened the day before and assured her that everything was now fine. The next morning I was checking my email bright and early before getting ready for work. I must not have read them very well because there was one in there about meals for the week. That afternoon I talked to the RS president and expressed my concern about having people make me meals. We are all students here and some don't have as much as other. How could I accept something from someone who may have less than us? I was thankful for the thought but told her it was unnecessary. And then...... I broke down crying. It's very easy to provide a service for those around me but it's hard to accept help even when we may need it the most.

This past week has been full of spiritual blessings. I can't explain how grateful I am to those who are in my ward, those in TVA and my friends who have taken care of us this past week. It's things like this that make it so hard to leave Laie and BYUH. I don't think there's anywhere else in this world where this kind of love is given without expecting anything in return.